Thursday, November 27, 2008,12:18 am
something really random.
then again, maybe not.
actually been harbouring thoughts about it for quite some time.
and after everything thats been happening around me these days.
everything i've seen.
experienced.
heard.
read.
im quite sick of it
and i need to vomit it out(:
i dont know where to start.
i guess i cant go into specifics.
hahha, dont want to end up like sheela :x
no offense, but i've learnt from her situation,
that i cant be as opened about blogging as i thought.
im seriously, honestly
just so sick of all the pretence, superficial, fake, insincere things
in this place we call life.
i'm so sick of it there are just no words to describe.
okay, i should start with myself(:
regarding someone.
hahaha, im sorry! i really dont like personal attacks,
and no offense to anyone, but.
i just need to blurt this out to my blog.
you're the one who complains&complains.
please, you have not done the things you claim you have.
not that im saying i have.
because , honestly. im sick of this lie we call a friendship.
all those months ago, ever since i learnt the truth.
i've long ago put all of this crap on the shelf.
so i wont pretend that i want this friendship anymore.
it was alright for you to shrug me away and put me at the corner.
to use me as your last resort.
for me to be the oh-man-i-have-nobody-else-so-i-call-you friend.
i will NEVER forget what you said that day.
you always try to make it seem
like you've got such a good life without us.
such exciting problems, guys after you.
do you ever care about anyone other than yourself ?
always going on & on about your own life.
please, dont you think i realised,
that the only reason you call me.
is not because you care,
but you just want to rant on about your life.
but then apparently when we've settled in a reasonable life.
suddenly its out fault ? suddenly we're being unreasonable.
like as if its unfair that we're having a better life ?
and STOP being such a copycat please.
i can accept copycats who actually admit it.
but a copycat who claims they're original.
i seriously despise people with no substance.
no sense of integrity? respect?
i would really appreciate it.
if you stop pretending like we have such a bond,
which is obviously not there anymore!
please, stop using my friends.
this may all be fake to you,
but they are real to me.
sometimes i really wonder, WHAT FOR PUT ON SUCH A MASK?
its seriously not worth it.
lalala ~ okay(:
im quite glad i got it off my chest.
but part of me wishes i would just spurt all the specifics :x
i dont like shooing people, honestly.
i feel shitty after.
i really want to get away from people who,
say things they dont actually mean,
make promises they never intended to keep.
i know its stupid,
maybe even just plain naive and gullible.
but , it really pisses me off.
i mean, such things.
waste both your time and mine.
dont bother(:
anyway, alot of greys in my life nowadays.
like one huge PMS .
i honestly HATE making life-changing decisions.
thats why i would probably make a suckish leader. haha.
but , so many choices just popping up.
and i really dont know what to do.
i may think i do for awhile.
but then PMS sinks in again.
& then i get lost in this big pool of life again.
darn.
anyway,
FINALLY WATCHED HSM TODAY.
thank you ang peijun.
hahaha!
it was nice! sentimental i guess.
the show itself wasnt anything special,
but when i thought about their journey through the 3 shows.
thats what won me over.
peijun didnt like it though, HAHAHA.
she said i was thinking too far.
and yeah, we walked around E!hub for awhile.
AND AND AND ,
ITS THE ULTIMATE EATING HAVEN! honestly.
we saw MANY MANY GOOD FOOD.
but werent hungry. hahaha.
then, we chiong-ed over for CG.
CG itself was good.
its always goood.
but, certain things were just pissing me off. hahaha.
okay! i shall talk about the good things ! :D
we talked about our visions for 2009.
not ambitions, goals, resolutions.
goals.
goals beyond ourselves and our families.
and it was very comforting to hear everyone's.
even inspiring.
i want to help my cg-mates acheive their visions! :D
also, with all our talk about end-times yesterday,
i think the song "for the cause of Christ" was just perfect.
haha, i pray for such assurance in faith! (:
we had dinner , and ken & i mrt-ed home.
honestly, i was actually quite afraid we would have nothing to talk about.
but, GOSH.
it was on and on and on.
we caught up on old ccks times.
basketball, even hillgrove people!
hahaha , im sure we were both enlightened.
HAHAHA (:
i love just reminicing.
but, i learnt that one cant just dwell in the memories of yesteryear.
we have to look ahead! :D
and then again.
as i think back to all those hillgrove times.
they were really the best, the most enlightening,
and yet the hardest, toughest times of my life.
everything physial, mental and emotion i went through.
all those scars which are regrettedly still here.
thats what stirs my hunger for those yishun kids.
not just yishun, but the whole west area!
a change needs to happen here.
seriously, so seriously.
these kids need God.
they need God.
so they wont have to go through a single one of those horrible times.
never.
no vision = no future
btw, i just love sheela! she helped me create my photobucket account.
woots! :DD
i miss my gfs! i miss cherie xu shihui!
my chong shuni is in taiwan with dondon,
but thank God azureen is back today! HAHA :D
and to repay sheela, i promised to upload photos! haha,
so these are WAAAAAAAY long overdue photos i was too lazt to upload before :D
may my unglam-ness cheer you up(:
US MAKING MINI'S PRESENT :DD
we're happy! (:
STRIKE IT! :DD
eew! :x haha.
heartofGodchurch